Sunday, 14 October 2018

Much wanted contact

My son met up with his birth dad yesterday, it wasn't the first time this has happened but its only the second time they've met alone.

I always knew that my son misses his birth dad, they always had a positive relationship from what I can gather in the information I have. His birth dad (or dad as we call him) was never a risk to him, more that he didn't cope well when things went wrong with his relationship with my sons birth mother.

His birth mother is a different matter, he's been clear he doesn't want contact with her and has blocked her to protect himself from her lies (his words) after she made unwanted contact last year.

I'd always promised my son that I would help him to find them when he was older so it wasn't a surprise when he searched facebook for his dad when he was 18 and it didn't take him long to find him. A phone call followed and a meet up which I was fully involved in at both of their requests.

I've never felt worried about them seeing each other, mainly because there's no risk but also I don't know whether I feel less threatened as I'm a single adopter. He's always had good male role models within our family but its not just about that, its about doing what's right for him.

My feelings around whether he wanted to see his birth mother are around the damage her actions have caused and the resulting behaviours towards me, I feel angry for him and towards her, as he does.

He and his dad have seen each other a few times since he made contact and my son finally has his dad back as he always wanted.

I hope it's a relationship he will always have.

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