Friday 17 February 2017

Still mum

So after all the worries about unwanted (and it was) contact and being NEET but enrolling at college things are looking up. It's not easy and he still needs an awful lot of scaffolding and support but half term is giving me the chance to do that.

It's tricky getting that balance and hard to be pulled both ways and worry I'm not doing anything right but I've come to realise I need to parent him, 18 or not!

He is letting me!!! He's allowing me to support, he's coming for help  (and food) and is slowly building more resilience.

Let's hope it continues. We both need that x  photo Week2_zpsamo5gghm.jpg

Saturday 4 February 2017

Unwanted (?) Contact

So the inevitable has happened. It started with a warning phone call on Thursday to say his birth mum was looking for him on facebook. It's ok thought I, she doesn't know our last name or where we live. Then the shock! A private message from a friend with a screenshot from a buy and sell site in our town. Then another warning from another, there were 4 and I thank those people for looking out for us and understanding the issues. He was tagged by well meaning people who dont understand about the realities of modern adoption and that he was not 'taken' for no reason.

So now we're exposed and so are his younger sibs. Their mum is terrified and devastated in equal measure. She has had a private message from the birth mum and then so have I. Full of excuses and pity for herself, little understanding of how her actions have impacted on mine and me.

She has contacted boy wonder. I'm not sure if he has responded yet as that's another issue of parenting from a distance in that he is not here and I won't see him til breakfast today. I have spoken to him about it but he's quiet and tells me to stop fussing.

He has always been clear that he hates her and doesn't want contact but now she's here how will he respond? I am terrified as now he's in such a better place than even 2 weeks ago. Things are going well and he cant afford for that to change again. I am scared for our relationship that is so good at the minute and that's taken a huge amount of resilience and work.

How will this turn out? I don't know but whatever he decides I will support his decision. He knows that and he knows I am mum whatever happens. I hope x