Saturday, 25 August 2018

Befuddled by friendships

Today I feel resentful and overwhelmed!

Overwhelmed by trauma and resentful of its continuing impact on our lives.

My 20 year old can only manage one friendship at a time, these are all with slightly older men who financially and emotionally exploit him. It costs him money, tobacco, cannabis and all of his time to keep these friendships that he views as important to him. They overtake his life and follow a pattern that he's unable to see being played out. He gets up in the morning and rushes out and only returns to his supported living late at night. Showering, eating and household tasks are forgotten as he's so desperate to see them.

The last friendship is just ending as they all do, in trauma being replayed and me picking up the pieces.

After being ignored I'm again expected to be the main entertainment til he drops me again for the next friend. I'm expected to drop everything to meet his every need and stop him becoming bored. The emotional and verbal abuse if I don't (when I don't) is unbearable and triggering.

I can't wait to get back to school (work)!!

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